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Father’s Day is not Mother’s Day

June 16, 2013

I have been processing and I think my opinion has shifted. As a child raised by a single mother, I always felt like ‘my mama is my mama and daddy’. I would tell my mother Happy Father’s Day on Fathers Day. I would tell other single moms happy fathers day and thanks for pulling double duty. While I was raised without my father, my mother is my mother and the truth is that there is a void where my father ‘should’ have been. So she’s not my mother and my father. She’s my mother. And honoring that doesn’t remove her impact. Her power. There’s still a void where Charles Morris didn’t fill. There’s always a void when a father chooses not to be present. And NO mother can fill a void she doesn’t embody. No mother is a father. I am realizing that this whole ‘Happy Fathers Day to My Mother Because My Father was Absent’ is rooted in something not so good. I don’t want to say negative or bad, but definitely not balanced. But we don’t see the opposite on Mother’s Day. The bottom line is that there are sorry ass parents period. Mothers and fathers, however socially we are fixated on the demonization of ‘absent fathers’. When the truth is that there are COUNTLESS people with absent mothers. So as this point in my game, I am choosing different. I am choosing to honor fathers day for what it is. For FATHERS. Folk who contributed the sperm. I’m not really interested in having dialogue or gathering opinions. Simply wanted to share my ‘right now’. Which may/may not change. 

(c) The Ignant Intellectual, 2013

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